Things haven't been actually going too well everywhere. Let's start off with my dad: His condition seems to be stabling down but the side-effects are starting to kick in very fast. Just afew days ago, when he was trying to have dinner, the skin along e edges of his mouth got torn and it started bleeding non stop. This is due to his cancer treatment has already more or less killed most of his living tissues around his mouth. Right now, the only way he is able to consume is through a straw. And the nourishment that he's taking it in, is all in liquid form. It's very sad to see him and his body deteriorate at such a quick pace. I remember just around march, I was still sharing chicken rice with him, and he seems fine, chewing on to big chulks of chicken heartedly. I have agreed with my mom that once his therapy is over, the whole family is going to go and take a family photo in case something really bad does happen.

Other than being troubled with my dad's issue, I have been somewhat distracted by a few others. Some of them are relationship based, and some of them are pretty personal. As for what happened to me personally, I do not feel really comfortable as yet to share in my blog. However, I have only told what has happened to me to a couple of loved ones and close friends. Though that's nothing much I can do about it, I do worry for some who might be affected through my issues.

I have a couple of friends coming up to me and complain asking me why do I always write such solemn and sad stuff. Well, I do not always show much of these sad side of me to most of my friends around. Most will see me as an irritating and crappy arsehole who always have something non-constructive to say but always crap about everything around us and making us laugh. But it's not that I only have such a side of me. I do have my down periods and my high periods. Everyday I would think about what's my high and low for the day. Few loved ones are lucky enough to know those highs and lows. However, few learned to appreciate the importance and signifiance of sharing my life with them, good and bad. So I'm asking you guys out there, what's your high and low for today? When was the last time you told them you missed them? When was the last time you actually shared a private joke with your loved ones? When was the last time you asked a loved one what their high and their low is?

I've been trying to share my life with someone I feel comfortable with, but things just doesn't seem to work the way they are supposed to be. I guess that's the unpredictability of human nature. I have decided to close up myself again behind lock and key. Somehow my master key has chose to cast me as an ordinary box. Though I'm not as mystery as houdini's magic box or as mythical as pandora's, I'm unique i believe in my own special way. It's a shame that people I have chosen be ruggage through the contents sees no value in them. I'm angry. I'm disappointed. I'm sad.

I don't really like what's been going on around at this stage of my life. Sometimes I wish I was dead. Maybe if this dark feeling deep in the recesses of my mind that I chose such a gothic layout here. I'm tired. I feel like Edward Scissorhands. But I don't know if at the end of my story, anyone would remember me by the snowflakes I created. That was a great movie. A Johnny Depp profit.